Monday, January 10, 2011

How to Ctrl+Alt+Delete Yourself Right Out of A Marriage

      When we think of the sanctity of marriage, we often think of trading in “me, myself, and I” ways of being for an inclusive “us/we.” We think of joining into a union with someone we love and respect. Somewhere along the line Michigan couple Clara Walker and her husband Leon lost this in their own marriage. While the accounts that the now-divorced couple gave to ABC Nightline reporter Bill Weir differed, the one thing they agree on is that their relationship was rocky from the very beginning. 

      The couple met and fell in love in the workplace. After welcoming a daughter into the world, they decided to give the family life a try and get married. Early on communication proved an issue and many of their conversations took place via email. During a time when the two were essentially living as roommates, Clara reopened communication with her second husband(who she filed a report against during their marriage for physically assaulting her in front of her son) and allegedly began an affair with him.

      Now this is where things get dicey. On the Nightline report, Clara says that when this took place, her relationship with Leon was at a low point(she did not, however, say they were separated or making strides towards dissolving their marriage). When Leon became aware that his wife was communicating with her ex-husband, he went through her email to gather more information. His reasoning was that because of their violent history, the safety of a child was on the line.

      As a result of his actions, Leon Walker faces a possible sentence of 5 years in prison for reading his wife's email. Prosecutors are citing a Michigan statute that is usually applied to cases of identity fraud and trade secret theft. There is argument as to whether or not Clara left her email passwords in a public place, or if Leon was able to guess them. Either way, Clara Walker's legal team are likening Leon's actions to that of a hacker.

      Now that the facts are on the table, can I be completely honest with you? I have a few issues with this whole situation. First of all, a married person seeking legal representation because their spouse read their email on a computer in their shared household seems a bit extreme. Yes, privacy is just as an important to a married person as it is to a single person. But it seems like the action of a guilty person. If you have nothing to hide and your behavior is on the up&up, why should it matter that your emails are read? Secondly, I just don't trust Clara Walker. There, I said it. I watched her interviews on Nightline really closely. Her tears seemed...forced. Like the kind a child squeezes out in an attempt to not get in trouble. Considering that all this greatly impacts her children(specifically her daughter with Leon), it would have been nice to understand just why she felt so violated. What exactly made her want to try this out in the legal system? Nothing she said seemed to get to the heart of the matter. Finally, the potential punishment does not fit the crime. 5 years in prison?? Calling the man a hacker? I know I don't know much about law but that seems outlandish.

      I was still feeling indignant over this story the day after watching the special. Then one of my married friends said something that made me go hmmm....

“Internet snooping is wack, even between spouses. Get your self-esteem up. You look for something, you find it.”

     Well tell us how you really feel!!! ;-) That made perfectly good sense to me(although I still don't trust Clara Walker) and made me wonder: Did Leon Walker ever try talking to his wife before going through her email? Did Clara try talking to Leon before seeing a lawyer? Were their actions fueled by their crumbling marriage and a desire to end things?

Dearest readers, what are your thoughts on this case? 

For those of you who are married(or close to it) is internet spying a deal breaker between you and your significant other?
Would you/have you ever gone through a significant others email, Facebook, Twitter, etc.?
Do you think this case needs to be tried out in court?
Have you seen interviews with the Walker's? What was your impression of them?

I'd love to hear from you!


  1. As a married woman, I love my husband and I never go through his email or anything. I have no reason to. If he decides that he wants to communicate with an ex or anyone else, he must not be getting something that he needs from me. Now if he does this without communicating with me first, well he doesn't really deserve me. If he communicated his issues to me and I still made no effort to make the needed changes, I feel he should do what will make him happy. I may be the exception in this case, but I feel that if I am inadequate and he needs someone else, he should have it. That way he will be happy and more capable to take care of his responsibilities to me and our family.

  2. This is a dangerous slippery slope. Think of all the people who spy on each other. Parents would be liable for "hacking" into their kids computers. People across the country would be liable for hacking into their SO's accounts. This could get ugly.

  3. I think this case is a crockpot full of bullshnitzle! This woman is trying to ruin her husband's life because of her indiscretions. This totally disgusts me. I haven't seen the interiew and I'm kinda glad because I don't want to look in the face of an idiot and get myself all riled up lol.

    My husband and I have each others passwords. Not to spy or invade privacy but because sometimes it comes in handy. For example, he needs a tracking number for something I ordered online. I'm in a meeting and can't respond. He can log right into my email to get said tracking number. When these things occur we talk about it, no big deal. I'd say we maintain privacy but there is no secrecy.

    Bottomline regarding this case...the woman is a fool!

  4. NWoody:I admire your unwavering confidence on this topic. And I see your point: People should be with the one who makes them happiest(especially if being happy makes you better equipped to handle family business).

    Alovelydai:Exactly!!! It totally has potential snowball into something the legal system probably doesn't want to deal with.

    DivaGlam_Mom: Yeah, it's best you didn't watch it. Lol!! She's sickening and her actions reek of someone feeling guilty/trying to distract attention away from themselves.

  5. Sorry I'm so late in leaving a response.. Don't kill me LS! Lol.

    I think it's crazy..she clearly just did not want her husband to know she was having an affair and wanted to ge the law involved. I mean seriously she definitely has something to hide to go through all of that. I mean she acts like they were divorced or something...she was still married to her husband. It's craziness to me.