The Chris Brown Effect

 By now I'm sure that you've all heard about the latest Chris Brown fiasco: He goes on Good Morning America to promote his new album, gets questioned about his history with Rihanna, is unsuccessful in his attempts to change the topic, goes backstage and flips completely out--screaming, hopping in the face of a segment producer, and smashing the window in his dressing room with a chair. *sarcastic applause* Way to go Chris....way to go.

I'm sure this topic is one that you've heard about over and over in the past two days.  And honestly, knowing our society, it might linger around for a bit longer. But I'm not here to rehash the incident.  I'm actually not even here to condemn Chris or discuss his obvious problems(okay, maybe a some of the latter).

Here is what I am here to discuss: I need to understand the thought process the average person goes through when they hear about the latest celebrity scandal.  Since news of Chris Brown broke, I've literally stared at my computer screen with my mouth wide open in shock at what grown people consider "logic."  The reactions generally fall into 3 basic categories:

Excuse: "Robin Roberts baited him!" "Why can't they just let Chris live?!" "The situation with Rihanna was so long ago. Why can't they just move on?"
Denial: "We don't know what's going on in his head so we can't judge"
Misplaced Blame: "Why does the media praise Charlie Sheen and criticize Chris Brown?"

Let's tackle these one-by-one. For the Excuse people, the first issue is that A)You're making excuses and B)You're making excuses for a grown man.  Nobody is trying to prevent Brown from living.  If anything,  saying "Hey! You have serious anger issues and need to get real help", is a sign that some people want him to live and be the best person possible. Furthermore, how can an adult get "baited?" He knows it happened. He can prefer to not answer questions about it(which I understand completely) but he should know how to properly handle it if/when it comes up.  Handling it properly does not include having a public hissy fit.

Denial people--really???( I promise I'm not making this stuff up--someone actually said it!!) If I'm given facts I can compile those to make a logical/reasonable conclusion. I shouldn't have to also be a mind reader. If that was the case then news reporters&analysts would be out of jobs.

Misplaced Blame-- *sigh* This is a really popular one the irks me to my very core. So we want to compare Chris Brown to Charlie Sheen? And we really think this is logical???? Okay. Here is the biggest flaw with that: They BOTH have done things that are wrong and they BOTH need to step away from the limelight and get help. That line of "reasoning" sounds like a child trying to get their parent to let them do something because their friend can. And what do most parents say to that? "I don't care what your friends do--I care about YOU and what goes on in MY house." Same thing here. Nothing about Sheen's situation will help Brown out so why drag him into it? 
  Furthermore, how can you ignore the glaring difference between the two--Charlie Sheen comes from a family of Hollywood heavy hitters. The chances of his name not carrying him above and beyond all his drama is slim to none. Sad to say, Chris Brown is small potatoes by comparison.  His fan base could barely carry him to the corner store.

Here is the bottom line: I don't care what Robin Roberts asked him. I don't care if he never wants to speak on Rihanna again. I don't even care if she insulted him in 6 different languages.  He is an adult and should act as such. If any of us went Hulk and started destroying stuff just because we were annoyed or mad, there would be consequences. No excuses--consequences. No coddling--CONSEQUENCES!!

It isn't a matter of "hating" or "keeping him down." Look at the signs--his history of witnessing abuse, his acts of abuse, lashing out in anger, using Twitter to vent(only to have to go back and delete tweets), even the increased bravado in his music all indicate someone who is troubled and trying desperately to cover it up. Yet so many people seem dead set on protecting, defending, and excusing Brown at every turn.

But...why? No seriously. I want to understand why some people are inclined to do everything under the sun but advocate for his mental and emotional well-being? I look at Chris Brown and see a man who could easily be my brother or cousin. So I think--what would I want for my family in such a situation? I believe I'd want to help them stop a downward spiral and get them the help they needed. I would want to remove any enablers/yes-men because they'd never tackle the issue head on. A lot of the comments I've seen are completely ignoring the very real and obvious indications of anger issues and that concerns me. Try stripping away his celebrity. Don't think about him as an artist whose music you love. Just think about him as a man--someone in your own family, the guy you see everyday at work. Does that change the outlook any?

We are a celebrity focused society. We admire them for the entertainment they provide. We become fascinated with their every move.  But when it comes to critical matters that impact their well-being as a person, it is difficult for many to change their outlook and be supportive.  I pray this can change soon.

The floor is open.....any comments? Agree/disagree? Let a sista know!

How to Ctrl+Alt+Delete Yourself Right Out of A Marriage

      When we think of the sanctity of marriage, we often think of trading in “me, myself, and I” ways of being for an inclusive “us/we.” We think of joining into a union with someone we love and respect. Somewhere along the line Michigan couple Clara Walker and her husband Leon lost this in their own marriage. While the accounts that the now-divorced couple gave to ABC Nightline reporter Bill Weir differed, the one thing they agree on is that their relationship was rocky from the very beginning. 

      The couple met and fell in love in the workplace. After welcoming a daughter into the world, they decided to give the family life a try and get married. Early on communication proved an issue and many of their conversations took place via email. During a time when the two were essentially living as roommates, Clara reopened communication with her second husband(who she filed a report against during their marriage for physically assaulting her in front of her son) and allegedly began an affair with him.

      Now this is where things get dicey. On the Nightline report, Clara says that when this took place, her relationship with Leon was at a low point(she did not, however, say they were separated or making strides towards dissolving their marriage). When Leon became aware that his wife was communicating with her ex-husband, he went through her email to gather more information. His reasoning was that because of their violent history, the safety of a child was on the line.

      As a result of his actions, Leon Walker faces a possible sentence of 5 years in prison for reading his wife's email. Prosecutors are citing a Michigan statute that is usually applied to cases of identity fraud and trade secret theft. There is argument as to whether or not Clara left her email passwords in a public place, or if Leon was able to guess them. Either way, Clara Walker's legal team are likening Leon's actions to that of a hacker.

      Now that the facts are on the table, can I be completely honest with you? I have a few issues with this whole situation. First of all, a married person seeking legal representation because their spouse read their email on a computer in their shared household seems a bit extreme. Yes, privacy is just as an important to a married person as it is to a single person. But it seems like the action of a guilty person. If you have nothing to hide and your behavior is on the up&up, why should it matter that your emails are read? Secondly, I just don't trust Clara Walker. There, I said it. I watched her interviews on Nightline really closely. Her tears seemed...forced. Like the kind a child squeezes out in an attempt to not get in trouble. Considering that all this greatly impacts her children(specifically her daughter with Leon), it would have been nice to understand just why she felt so violated. What exactly made her want to try this out in the legal system? Nothing she said seemed to get to the heart of the matter. Finally, the potential punishment does not fit the crime. 5 years in prison?? Calling the man a hacker? I know I don't know much about law but that seems outlandish.

      I was still feeling indignant over this story the day after watching the special. Then one of my married friends said something that made me go hmmm....

“Internet snooping is wack, even between spouses. Get your self-esteem up. You look for something, you find it.”

     Well tell us how you really feel!!! ;-) That made perfectly good sense to me(although I still don't trust Clara Walker) and made me wonder: Did Leon Walker ever try talking to his wife before going through her email? Did Clara try talking to Leon before seeing a lawyer? Were their actions fueled by their crumbling marriage and a desire to end things?

Dearest readers, what are your thoughts on this case? 

For those of you who are married(or close to it) is internet spying a deal breaker between you and your significant other?

Would you/have you ever gone through a significant others email, Facebook, Twitter, etc.?

Do you think this case needs to be tried out in court?

Have you seen interviews with the Walker's? What was your impression of them?

I'd love to hear from you!